Monday, January 5, 2009
I am relieved to say that we are now in 2009, although, I can't completely write off 2008 as being a bad year. Actually, good things happened in 2008. For one, I finally met a guy in the fickle city of Seattle that is actually not full of shit. As a matter of fact, he's actually really nice and not full of himself. He also doesn't dress like an androgynous hipster with zero musical taste.
I also had a great time in NYC and actually attended all three nights of the noisefest known as No Fun Fest.
Work-wise, I also got promoted to Paralegal, which is exciting. I'm just waiting for news of what my raise will entail. Granted, I am still filing and have gained even more work than I already had. I can't keep it all straight, but I am slowly moving up. I don't expect it to all happen overnight. I will take time, but I do have new challenges awaiting me. We will have to see what happens from here.
I just hope that 2009 proves to be even better. I anticipate that it is going to be better. I hope to attend the Nurse with Wound show in San Francisco which is the end of March. Also, I just might head on back to NYC for another round of No Fun Fest, allowing me a chance to see Merzbow again, after missing them two years ago due to my misplaced fear of Brooklyn at night. There are also rumors of some Throbbing Gristle tour action as well as the possible first ever US live performance of Black Sun Productions. I have also been really really really wanting to attend Sonar in Barcelona, Spain. That would be great - spendy, but great, nonetheless. I am keeping my fingers crossed (come on, raise at work, I need you now.)
That is a lot to attempt to do in 2009.
Coming back to today, 1.5.2009, I've decided (on the advice of Bob, my boyfriend) to try something different. Year after year, I make huge plans for the upcoming year culminating in a novella-length list of New Year's resolutions, most (well, actually, ALL) of which are never successful. This time, however, I am trying something new. Instead, I created a one-word description that encompasses a broader course of action which I hope to accomplish in the upcoming year. This year, the word is "calm."
What does the "concept" of calm entail? Well, first of all, I consistently feel like I am always in a hurry, whether it's due to me walking too fast or rushing through basic tasks. In that respect, I want to slow down. Also, I tend to take on too much (i.e. packing too much crap in my book-bag and not using 95 percent of that crap, or make too many goals or unrealistically overwhelming myself with too much to do) at one time. Instead, I am going to take things one day at a time and realize that I am merely human and can only do so much at one time.
Finally, I stress too much all the time. I want to learn to take deeper breaths and more frequent moments of relaxation. I want to slow down my walking pace and take better care of myself. A big area of improvement I hope to make involves the way I handle stress and uncomfortable situations at the workplace or in my social life. I am going to slow down and not stress out about the stuff that I can't control. Some things are out of my hands. I can't always do anything about them. I gotta learn to mellow out A LOT. Don't sweat the small stuff. I just can't allow that stuff to get to me. I can't internalize other people's issues and problems. What I can do is adjust how I handle drama or stressful situations.
I hope that all these intended improvements ultimately result in a calm, peaceful, and reinvigorated 2009.
Stay tuned to see what happens.
